over at Louise's blog I read a post with this article about a large family.
Louise then linked to this. reading room .
I realized after reading these responses that I live an exceptionally sheltered life. I didn't think that people were really that awful. I did say to Louise that on the net many people use hyperbole more than they do in real life but still some of the comments about this family were really shocking. It made me wonder if people are saying simmilar things about Steve and I about our brood (of only 7).
It seems to me that as soon as you are not in the norm of having only two or three children that people think you are
a: sex crazed or
b: crazy.
Many of these people don't realize the good things they are missing out on by limiting their family size. They don't see what happens behind cloesed doors when you have a large family. They don't see the children playing with the two year old and enjoying it. They don't see everyone helping out with the chores so that the family can do something special together. They don't see the children learning to serve each other and then being willing to serve others.
Or maybe the truth of this is that they do realize that they are missing out on things so they feel a need to criticize so that they don't have to say to themselves that they have made a mistake contracepting and sterilizing. I really don't know.
I am just glad that God has given me the insight and grace to go against the popular cultural choices. I am sure the Dungars are too.
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10 comments:
I was thinking, Therese, that it's highly unlikely that any of the people you or I know are the sort of people who would think or say such terrible things about us. There certainly are a lot of people I know who think I'm crazy(!) but, for all that, they are still nice people.
Not like the people I was linking to...
And yes, big families have their own blessings and advantages, but we don't tend to hear of them so much.
Yes I totally agree Louise.
The sad thing is that these people who think it's crazy are the very people who make it seem like an insane choice, by creating a society that is so unfriendly to large families. I don't just mean by attitude, but also by financial means; by creating a society that demands two income families, they are forcing the large families into second class status, and then they marginalize those same families for being crazy enough to allow themselves to be second class.
I totally agree Christina. Although I have come to see that as a sahm there is many things I can do at home that save us a lot of money. I make a lot of the childrens clothes, I bake many things from scratch and buy lots of things in bulk. (Something a smaller family cannot do without being waisteful).
Thanks for stopping by my blog and signing it.
I can relate though to society making large families into second class citizins. Earlier this year we looked into taking all the children up to the Gold Coast for a week. Many places said they couldn't give us accommodation in one unit. We had to look at having two which doubled the price and just made it too expensive.
Sometimes I feel the presure to appear like a "perfect family", at least when we are in public, just to avoid the stares, eye-rolling, and unkind comments. I can almost hear them now. "See? That's what you get for having too many children."
I know the incredible blessing God has given us with each child He has added to our family. I wish more people would look at it that way.
By the way, I have five children. I have never felt like we were a very large family at all. Not like those crazy people who have seven! ;) Just kidding, Therese!
I know what you mean MM. I make a point of saying we only have 7 when people ask me how many. They go only 7? 7 is a lot. I say well no 10 and 12 are a lot.
I cant believe some of those comments I was reading! they were terrible. I think it's great you have a big family, more to love :) I have always thought that 5 kids would be about my limit (if I ever got married) but now I'm thinking even 10 wouldn't be so bad...
of course most people think you're nuts if you have more than 2...
but most people think I'm nuts anyway!!
God Bless
love Rachel xoxo
It is so true Rachi. Big families do have more love to share around. I remember saying that I thought I wanted 4 children and my girlfriend said she wanted 6. I have 7 and she has 3. I am really grateful that I have my 7 and know that if God blesses us again we will be able to do it. So many people say to me I don't know how you do it but they don't realize that I am not some special person that has extra special abilities. All things are posible with God.
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