I think being older and pregnant is taking it's toll on me. I have been extremely tired every night by 9.00 and don't want to get up each morning. I think I could easily have a 2 hour nap in the afternoon.
I just thought though that tonight I would get others opinions on pre natal testing.
Because I am 42, my ob offered me the scan to measure the babies neck and blood test to see if I am in the high risk group to have a child with down syndrome. Steve and I decided to have it and tomorrow we will see him and get the results.
If I am in the high risk group, we can have an amnio done. I am in two minds about this. I think I would like to know and get as much information as I could before the birth so that I feel more prepared when the baby comes.
I also think that some people could put me under a lot of pressure to abort our baby if he/she has ds. I know I would just stick to my guns and say no way. I am not aborting our baby but I don't know how I would cope with people telling me that it is the best thing to do.
Your thoughts?
Thanks
Therese.
Please pray for a cure for Type One Diabetes
Our sons Tom and Christopher and our daughter Amelia are type one diabetics. We pray everyday for a cure. We do not want one by illicit means though so don't support any organisation that contributes to Embryonic Stem Cell Research. Click on the photo of Tom and Christopher to read about why I am against using Embryonic Stem cells for a cure.
Sitemeter
Tom's and Christopher's insulin pump
New book: Faith Quilt.
All proceeds from sales of "FAITH QUILT" going to "Casa de Amor Children's Homes in Bolivia" and "Sarah's Covenant Homes in India" Two truly extraordinary organisations that take in the most needy children and give them a place of love and security to call home.
25 comments:
I refused the tests. The things they test for aren't things that can be cured and changed. I wouldn't abort if there was a problem so saw no point in doing them. For me knowing my baby had an abnormality is something i could ever be prepared for anyway and I didn't want to mar the wonder of my last pregnancy. If there's a problem I'll deal with it when it happens. I do have the 20wekks scan becuase this test will show problems than can be solved. It will let us know if we need to birth in a bigger hospital so baby can get the help she or he needs. It's a very personal decision and I wish you all the best with your results. I certainly get the tiredness and I'm experiencing a lot of hormonal swings much more than my previous pregnancies and I think this is also due to my age. All the best with the results tomorrow Hugs Tracy
Therese,
Having a level 2 sonogram can give a pretty good indication if you have a baby with Downs--they look for certain soft markers that are pretty good indications of DS. I have never been tempted to get an amnio because of the risk of miscarriage--it is real.
Here is some information on sonos to help determine DS:
http://www.yourultrasound.com/can-ultrasound-reveal-down-syndrome/
Be at peace; God created this precious baby for you and your family. He thought you would be the perfect mother for him or her. And you are. Hugs and prayers.
Therese-we delined the test with this baby and with Michael. With Drew, at 33, they told us he was at higher risk for DS even though my test came back normal. After that, we decided to decline the test for future babies. When we have the ultrasound at 20 weeks, there are markers they can look for the would put DS at higher risk. It's not as accurate, but as with you, we wouldn't do anything anyway except carry that baby to term and love him or her...Just my opinion...still praying for you!
do what sarah palin did! she said the world needs more triggs out there! her son trigg as you know has down syndrome, and iam really proud of her for sticking to her guns! it doesn't matter what other people think! don't worry what they think, and you tell them the Church's position on abortion! its not an option. if they dont get it, well, then do as you said, stick to your guns. you will anyways because your a strong woman. my sister mary is handicapped we don't care what anyone thinks! therese, i highly doubt your child will have downs, but if the baby does, then it does, and your not going to love the baby any less just because it has a challenge. consider it a gift from God. because all children, handicapped or not are a gift from God. He loves them no matter what they have or don't have. we are all equal in the eyes of God and that is what matters, not what man says. praying for you and steve, and your new baby!
You still have more of a chance of a 'normal' baby than not.
My first pregnancy I didn't want a bunch of testing, since enough times, the test is 'wrong'. The doctor was also pregnant and told me I needed lots of prenatal testing, 'God Forbid your baby doesn't have a brain, you'd probably want an abortion."
"Why?"
" So that you'd have more time to re-try for another healthy baby."
"I'll take what I get. But, I'll also work hard at staying healthy and fit so that we can have the best professional relationship possible. But, no abortion."
Set the tone immmediatly. Don't be defensive.
(I ended up changing doctors for a midwife closer to my work. I should have stayed with the Doctors group because they were so test oriented, they might have discovered my pre-eclampsia!)
I'm one year behind you and I wish I could have just one more! God Bless you Therese! I'll be praying for you.
I forgot,
the doctor I mentioned above coaxed me into 'ultra-sound' to just make sure the baby's heart was okay. That way we could prepare for a posible intervention at the birth. If the baby needed surgery we'd have the delivery at a Specialized Neo-nate hospital.
I was against amniocentisis. The statistics of miscarriage due to the procedure was 1 in 200.
I thought a moment when I say that stat.
If I took my toddler to the amusement park and the kiddie ride had a disclaimer that 1 out of every 200 children would accidently die from the ride, how many parents would place their child in the seat?
So I said no to amnio. Yes to less invasive 'screening' for information only.
Also, at least two mothers I know had 'bad reports' and their children were A-OK. One was a first time mother at 45. No fertility treatments. Just God's Sense of Humor.
But, the 'screening' process was brutal and she also said no to aminio. Even after they told her the ultrasound showed Downs, and then worried her silly.
Even if I am young, I have been offered testing with all pregnancy, and I refused every time. No matter what the result would be, I would keep the baby, so I don't see the point of torturing myself and having other people on my back to get an abortion.
I felt the same way my last two or three kids -- It is harder, the older you get! Take good care of yourself, Therese. &:o)
As for the amnio -- I think there's good reasoning on both sides -- to do it or not to do it. It's good to be aware if the baby is going to have problems, but, in this day -- they get up to speed very quickly at delivery time to care for the needs of the baby, no matter what his/her health problems may be. A lot of the value in learning about problems early is for mom and dad mentally, I think. Which is a good thing -- unless it just makes you worry all the more. It's all in God's hands, regardless.
We did an amnio for the birth of our tenth child when I was forty -- and I have to share with you that I swore I would never do it again. The procedure was a lot more "uncomfortable" than the doc prepared me for -- and I wouldn't have considered it worth it, even if I had found out there was a problem. But, that's just me, Therese. Praying for your answer is always best -- and I'll add this intention to my prayers for you. It's so hard to know...
Well, I know my mind and heart well on this subject: nope to the tests for the very reason I would be pressured I'm sure . . . I'll just let the normal things go on (you'll get ultrasounds and if there's something wrong that can be seen on such a scan, you'll learn of it in plenty of time). When our mother's were carrying us, they did not have this technology and they took what they got. I'm sure the anxiety we experience about carrying babies (and all the hopes and dreams, too) are not much different than they had.
God bless you!
Therese,
I'd go with the ultrasound where they do the measurements for the neck and such. This is non invasive and although it can sometimes give false positive results....it still can give you good information.
IF...and I do mean IF...they see something that they are reasonably sure is something serious...then, by all means go for the amnio. As you know, sometimes Down Syndrome can cause heart defects that would allow the medical personel to be more prepared when the baby is born. I think you should just be very upfront with your physicians that you in NO WAY would consider abortion an option and to not even mention it to you.
I had to have an amnio when I was pregnant with Amelia. It was for lung maturity only....but it really wasn't that bad (I was at 38weeks). The risks of miscarriage is pretty high for an amnio at your stage of pregnancy. I wouldn't do it unless they are pretty sure something is wrong.
Well, that's my 2 cents worth!
By the way, my Amelia's birthday is February 3rd!!!
Therese,do what you always do with big decisions.... take it to God, ( but you know what he will say!) I myself would have the test to be prepared (research etc) but, you being you, will love it no matter what.
I'm afraid anyone bearing pressure would receive the comment "we don't Toss our gifts away!" Well, in all honesty it would not be that nice!
Stick to your guns, gal.
First off, you're looking too far ahead at the moment. You don't yet know if you'll have the amnio done, much less if the results will show the baby has Downs syndrome.
Secondly, you're not compelled to share the results with anyone. You may decide to share them, but perhaps it would be wise to share them only with those you know would be respectful and supportive of your decision.
But in the meantime, pray for a healthy baby and for God's grace to deal with the challenges that are sure to come even with a healthy baby!
Therese, sorry to read you are so tired. Please take care of yourself. As for the amnio. Isn't it considered risky for the baby? Would it make a difference knowing to you and your DH? Keeping you in my prayers.
Almost second trimester aren't you? So hopefully should start feeling better soon.
Is your obstetrician sympathetic to your Catholic values? Mine is and it helps a lot to have that support, though I haven't had to think about that level of testing yet.
I'm horrified to think that people would question your desire to care for your baby, whether it is Down Syndrome or not. But, reflecting on it, I guess I could imagine even some of my well-meaning friends and family thinking this way because they would want things to be as easy as possible for us.
It would hurt, but I guess the answer is to try to surround yourself with as much support as possible. Sorry, I can't help you more!
Personally.. I wouldn't have the amnio but that is just me. A lovely gal I know just had a baby less than a month ago and she is 50 yrs old .. this was not planned, she thought she had gone through menopause etc.
Anyways.. she did not do the amnio test as she figured that regardless this baby was a gift and no matter what the outcome they would deal with it when it came (the baby was a boy and he is fine and her pregnancy went awesome!!) Also, I have a cousin with down syndrome and my aunt has always said she is glad she didn't know when she was carrying him that he was downs.. she said pregnancy was hard enough for her without the added worries about the future.. so I guess those are some things to consider.. no matter what though.. whatever you and your husband want to do will be the right decision.
Wow. Thanks for all your comments. Lots for me to think about here and consider.
Hi Therese,
I need to be in bed by 9:00 each night or I would sleep all afternoon. Perhaps this is unusual for you, but maybe it just means that you are needing more sleep at the moment. Take advantage of it before baby arrives. ☺
I'd just be praying to God for His guidance about the pre-natal testing. Will it achieve anything? What are the risks? Are you willing to take that risk?
These are all questions that I would be asking myself.
Have a wonderful pregnancy.
Blessings,
Jillian
<><
Hi Therese,
Yes finding out that there is something wrong can prepare you for what lays ahead, and yes, I'd probably want to know, but at the same time I wouldn't feel comfortable with an Amnio. I was always too scared to have the blood tests intially ( I never had these at all)as these are inconclusive and often require amnio back up anyway to confirm a diagnosis. I think an amnio should only be done if you were to consider aborting and I know that would never be the case.Even if the blood results are indicative of a problem, you could pray they are wrong, be prepared if they are right and have medical staff present at the birth just in case they are needed. Praying for you
Hi, Therese! Congratulations! I know it's already tomorrow where you are, and I'm sure you've gotten those results back by now. Please know I'm keeping you in my prayers! I think if I were in your shoes I would opt out of an amnio, mainly because of the risk of miscarriage. Although, if tests indicated a real problem it might be helpful to know ahead of time and be prepared. As for people telling you that aborting a ds baby is the right thing to do? They can go fly a kite!! I honestly think that personally I would not handle that very well. I might say something rude if anyone suggested it.
I feel 'underqualified' to give any thoughts or suggestions here but one thing does come to mind - if anyone at any stage puts the pressure on you to do anything you don't want to do, just imagine Jesus and Mary standing close by to you. When You know you are doing what God requires of you (no matter how difficult it may seem), know that you can rest assured He has a plan behind it all and He will give you the words, the courage and the strength needed. Will it make you cope better with what people are saying to you? I think 'yes' because putting your trust in the Lord shows that you have confidence in the Lord too. I believe we draw on this for strength in times of need. Jesus loves you Therese.... your family ... and your little treasure. Will He not defend you and protect you.... Psalm 91
Don't let the predictions of man worry you but let the hand of God direct you. Keep safe what the Lord has given you and know that many prayers are being lifted up for you.
...oh dear, it was more than one thing that came to mind, lol. I hope it helps though.
God Bless,
Elena :)
I wanted to say that we did the nuchal fold test with our last baby (I was 40.) We would never abort, of course, but there are often compounding health issues with trisomy babies and we wanted the info so that we could choose the best place for our baby to be born. Home? hospital? hospital out of town? It made sense to me to be prepared in this way. Judicious use of technology. :)
Congratulations, btw!
I forgot one thing... I did have ultrasounds, they can be very useful, it's the blood work type I refused. A friend of mine did learn that her child had a heart defect at the ultrasound, so they knew early enough they would have to operate on him (unfortunately, he didn't survive the second operation). As for amnio, my mother in law had it done for baby #5... and lost him shortly after, so that's something I would ever get done either...
You well probably get some pressure to abort, like you said...just tell them to MTOBW - mind their own bees wax. ;). It really is no one's business but your own, you and your husband. If they insisted, I'd tell them that the topic was closed. It's difficult to be firm when you feel vulnerable during pregnancy. I always had my husband do the dirty work(setting people straight) so that I could rest my nerves.
Post a Comment