Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I think these are really funny.

I found this on my desktop. I think that Sam must have got it from one of his friends online;

What NOT to do in an elevator
* When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
* Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
* Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
* Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
* Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
* Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
* Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
* Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an apointment.
* Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
* Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
* Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
* When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
* Swat at flies that don't exist.
* Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
* Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
* Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
* Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
* Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
* Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
* Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
* Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passnegers, "This is MY personal space!"
* Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
* Hold an auction.
* Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
* Throw a rave.
* Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
* Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
* Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
* When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
* Have a heated debate with yourself.
* Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers. If they don't buy it smash it on the floor screaming, "You're ruining my career! Im going to get fired" then sulk in the corner and don't get off.
* Drum on every available surface.
* Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
* Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
* Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
* Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
* Propose to the other passengers.
* Challenge people to duels.
* Sell girl scout cookies.
* Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
* Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
* Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
* Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
* Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers
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