After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
' DON'T !'
'Don 't what ? '
Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.
'Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '
' No Way ! '
'Yes way ! '
'Do NOT eat the fruit ! '
Said God.
' W h y ? '
'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
God replied,
Wondering why He hadn't stopped
Creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
And He was ticked !
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? '
God asked..
'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.
'Then why did you ? '
Said the Father.
'I don't know,'
Said Eve.
'She started it! '
Adam said.
'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
Should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
Don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
What makes you think it would be
A piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life
Teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
The next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
For not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
Some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
They usually repeat word for word
What you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
Is to remind yourself that there are children
More awful than your own
6. We childproofed our homes,
But they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
Nursing home one day
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
Have a great Sunday and I hope you don't feel too tense or have a headache and need to stay away from children.
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
' DON'T !'
'Don 't what ? '
Adam replied.
'Don't eat the forbidden fruit.'
God said.
'Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! '
' No Way ! '
'Yes way ! '
'Do NOT eat the fruit ! '
Said God.
' W h y ? '
'Because I am your Father and I said so ! '
God replied,
Wondering why He hadn't stopped
Creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
And He was ticked !
'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit? '
God asked..
'Uh huh,'
Adam replied.
'Then why did you ? '
Said the Father.
'I don't know,'
Said Eve.
'She started it! '
Adam said.
'Did not ! '
'Did too ! '
'DID NOT ! '
Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
Should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it,
Don't be hard on yourself.
If God had trouble raising children,
What makes you think it would be
A piece of cake for you ?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !
1. You spend the first two years of their life
Teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
The next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.
2. Grandchildren are God's reward
For not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
Some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
They usually repeat word for word
What you shouldn't have said
5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
Is to remind yourself that there are children
More awful than your own
6. We childproofed our homes,
But they are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY:
Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
Nursing home one day
AND FINALLY:
IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN'
AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
Have a great Sunday and I hope you don't feel too tense or have a headache and need to stay away from children.
5 comments:
I LOVE THIS!!!!! Tho written with humor it is so true!
My daughters bought me a t-shirt years ago that said..."Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
Nursing home one day" If i'm getting testy, they will say....hey Mom. still have the t shirt?
LOL....I love it!!!!
Hi Therese,
That is so cute!
My children have been told that I'm not going into a nursing home.
Blessings,
Jillian
<><
That aspirin warning about keeping away from children just cracked me up! Thanks for sharing, Therese.
:-)
Aaah, just what I needed to hear...haha!
Thanks 4 the humour, I might go take an aspirin!
:)
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