We have all heard it. We all have to defend against it. The very first thing I hear as soon as I mention that we are going to homeschool is what about their socialization or don't you think it is important that they mix with other children outside the family.
I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. What exactly is socialization and why is it important that a child mixes with other children outside the family?
Now my children do lots of mixing with other children outside of school. They go to a kids club, scouts, musical theatre and play soccer.
Now after much thought and prayer about this I am asking questions. I think that many people say things without really thinking about it. They don't really know what it is that a child will lack because they haven't mixed with other children in a school setting.
So for all those that think that children should attend school. I would like to know:
What is an unsocialized child like? What skills do they lack?
What age should a child start mixing with other children outside their family?
Do you think that a parent should choose the types of children their child mixes with and stop them from mixing with children who's parents have a different philosophy to us?
These questions are genuine questions. I have thought long and hard about them because I do want the best for my children. I am opening comments up and letting anonymous comments for this because I want to get answers. I will still be moderating comments though.
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15 comments:
It's a load of baloney! What if tons of parents decided to homeschool who would lose out?
A lot of kids these days get bullied and to be honest if you confront them your child may face serious harm.
So long as they have a group of friends to socialise with I see no problems with homeschooling.
In the end Therese DO what is best for you and your children:). I would have LOVED homeschool and probably learnt more than I did in attending school. Most of which I hated.
I hope this helps:).
Peace to you:)
Marie: PS: I have put on another 'fashion show' on our Big is beautiful blog. Check it out if you have time:). I hope to do a swim suit one in a few weeks.
Congratulations to Therese for winning my November give away! Frank put the only 2 entries in and pulled out your name from the hat! Congratulations! i have announced on the post of november give aways you as the winner! please contact me at Divine Mercy and go to my email and send me a note.
your rosary and medal are coming to you from australia:) saves shipping time:) hee hee
Ahhhhhh. Socialisation! You know, I think it just comes down to the fact that people in general do not cope well with the differences they see in others. So, because nobody could seriously argue that a homeschooled child will suffer academically (assuming their parents are decent people) the first thing that comes to mind is this "socialisation."
I make this claim on the basis of lots of observation and thought, but it recently hit home when I was talking to a taxi driver. He asked me where my kids went to school. I said, "they home school." He was one of the few remaining people who has never heard of it, so he said, "where's that?" I told him what it was we were doing and the first thing he says is how he thinks kids ought to have other kids around them.
Now, seriously, how many nano-seconds of thought did he give that? People really should be prepared - as you are - to give serious thought to things before pronouncing firm opinion on something, I think. So, this fellow - nice bloke - was just *reacting*, not thinking.
I like to say, these days, that I want my kids to be sociable, not "socialised." In other words, they can learn to be sociable just by living in the heart of their family and watching their parents be sociable. Do they really need to be "socialised" by their peers?
And consider the taxi driver - he went to school, but can he cope with people who are different?
This is not meant to be a school-bashing post, but it is meant to bash the living daylights out of the "socialisiation" argument.
Incidentally, I firmly believe that it is the parents of children who have the right to decide how their own children should be educated. If they want to send their children to school, that is absolutely their right and perhaps for most people that's the best decision.
I think if more parents were more involved and concerened with who their children were "socializing" with there wouldn't be such bullying in schools, so much teen drinking and drug use, and so many teenage parents.
Go with what is BEST for YOUR children, not what's best for the local school district.
i have to agree. parents do need to be more involved for sure! we were with mine. she had a great time in school. i on the other hand didn't. as i as explaining a Catholic Answers Forums, in a thread about bullying, was bullied horribly in school. but, i held my head high and ignored it. those were different times though. i got sent to a different school, and got slapped by a mean boy, and mom pulled me out and home schooled me. and iam gad she did. my younger sister and i were bullied because we were dirt poor.
we wore shabby clothes because that was all we could afford. so, she put us in a different school, and it didn't stop there. mom did the right thing. she home schooled us, and that was good. for parents who have the time, i recommend looking into home schooling. i think home schooled kids are better adjusted than kids that aren't. there is no bad influence on kids who are home schooled.
I just have to say Louise since meeting your children I honestly cannot see any skill that they lack from you homeschooling them. I cannot remember who it was but someone said to me that children learn social skills in the family setting. Like you said, the children learn it from watching their parents. That is where they learn most skills.
My children are not homeschooled, but my MIL has homeschooled 9 of her 11 children. Ultimately, it is up to us as parents to provide socialization for our children, whether that be through public school, private/parochial school or homeschooling. The important thing is that we keep our children close and work to understand what they need to become the person that God calls them to be.
Jane
Two of my In-Laws have home schooled, and they have the bst socialized, politest and most independant minded (as in resisting peer pressure) kids and young adults in the family!
Kids can learn what is appropriate socially from observing and interacting with adults and then they practice with each other....this works really well in a homeschool environment. Of course you could send your kids to school and they could learn from the kids that are smoking pot in the park or (Good Lord Forbid if their are too many of them) from the teachers in the training video for homosexual advocates , Its Natural.
Under the Mercy,
Matthew S.
http://playthedad.blogspot.com
Socialization is not to be left up to a classroom of 30 peers, all looking to get ahead in the classroom. I can remember my own Catholic school education. The first thing the nuns would tell us "ladies, we're not here to socialize, we're here to learn". It tells me we've come a long way since then. I never saw my friends at school, unless we had the same lunch period. Even then, we were required to keep the roar to a minimum.
If my local schools concentrated more on education, and less on means for the kids to socialize, we wouldn't have the poor grades and test scores we do. The only ones they're hurting are the kids.
I have only heard the socialization comment thing once.
Otherwise parents who don't homeschool come up with a million reasons why they think homeschooling is so great! Seriously!
I have had MUCH more encouragement from non homeschoolers than homeschoolers sad to say.
Well, we homeschool and are currently wrestling with this question also.
First, I think "socialization" is best done in the family, but as our kids age I am increasingly recognizing another aspect of socialization. Before becoming an adult, we have to learn how to deal with adversity and with different opinions, even hatred towards us and our religion. Now that our oldest has a pretty solid foundation, I am wondering if the next step would be to send him to institutional high school so that he can develop practical skills in dealing with this type of adversity/diversity while he still has daily contact with his parents.
We have made no decisions yet, but a big part of me wonders if this would be preferable to having his first major dose of "the world" when he is an adult living far away at college or now. He would have a better foundation if we waited, but less contact with his support system.
I understand what you are saying Anonymous. Thanks for your comments. I am very interested in other people's opinions of this.
I think that the thing you are wrestling with is one of my concerns. It is the reason that I started this thread in the first place. How do we teach our children to cope with adversity, difference and hatred?
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